So Max turned 4 last week. I’d been hoping fervently praying he’d grow out of his clingy, whiny phase. But I wasn’t prepared for the overnight switch. We worked hard, building up being 4 as the time when he’d be a big boy. And he took it seriously. On his birthday, he told me, I’m four. I’m too big to cry or be shy.”

Hallelujah. Choirs of angels.

Suddenly he’s more independent, more thoughtful, and more fun. I love hanging out with him (versus the occasional “this Power Rangers game is ok but I’ll be tired of it in 3 seconds.”) He says thank you for everything. He puts his hand on mine when we eat breakfast and calls me his “lovey girl.”

He hasn’t had time out since the big 4 happened.

He’s also more boy-ey, engrossed in what I call ugly boy dolls (Power Rangers with 1,000 parts have replaced soft Diego dolls). He’s shooting, which I absolutely hate. But you know, I can live with that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not holding my breath. If I’ve learned anything as a parent, it’s that everything is a constant flow of change. Nothing lasts forever.

Well, maybe I am holding my breath a little.

Sometimes parenting doesn’t suck. Max turned 4 yesterday. It was a perfect day.

He got all the Power Rangers goodies (thanks Rogers Group!) he could handle. The cake from our Marble Slab Creamery was perfect. The friends, despite their lateness, were warm and entertaining (or was that the pina colada?).

And Max? I don’t like to jinx things, but he’s changing. He’s less whiny (a result I think of me telling him he couldn’t be 4 if he whined) and more polite. Like when I brought home Power Rangers decorations and he said thank you. And he’s sweet. I WANT to hang out with him a lot more (if not for those troublesome “uglytoys” with all the parts I can’t figure out).

Little Buddha moment: “What are you looking at, Max?”

“The sky. It’s so pretty. It looks quiet. There are no birds flying. They’re all sleeping.”

Man, I love this kid.

I just finished reading this book by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. These mothers interviewed dozens of women to see what they really thought of motherhood. It was a relief to me to discover that I indeed am not alone in finding that “sometimes parenting sucks!”

I’m discovering a whole underground movement of books about the struggles moms really have, as well as a slew of blogs dealing with the same thing. I don’t feel so alone.

This book was great because it tackled the major issues (not enough time for ourselves, frustration with partner, getting impatient with the kids) and shared other women’s stories. It also gave some great advice. It made me laugh, it made me cry.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“I forgot to strap my newborn daughter in her car seat. When I got home, she just kind of fell out.”

“I have tremendous pressure from all ends. A lot of it is self-imposed. I feel like I’m trying to be perfect in so many ways: spend as much quality time with my kids as I can, be a supportive wife, still keep my career on target. The standard is very high. The majority of women in my community look perfect all the time, seem so fit and helathy. They act like decorating the house for Thanksfgiving is the best thing in their lives.”

“It’s OK to lose it. We all lose it.”

“I don’t know how to ask for help. I just know how to scream at my husband.”