Despite my ramblings and self therapy here on Sometimes Parenting Sucks, I still can’t help but NOT categorize myself as a good mother a lot of the time. Here’s what I have in my head that constitutes as a Good Mother (yes I realize some of these items are silly):

• Always patient
• Enjoys participating in school activities
• Bakes from scratch special treats each week yet…
• Manages to stay thin
• Always looks well put together
• Never has roots showing in her hair
• Never grabs her child by his arm tightly when he’s being bad in public
• Never spanks
• Talks to child in soothing voice
• Is well-liked by other mothers
• Never resorts to plopping kid in front of tv so she can get on Facebook
• Doesn’t drink wine on playdates
• Encourages other mothers to drop off their kids with her frequently
• Gets kid involved in multiple activities even if she hates them
• Is punctual
• Does crafts with child for fun
• Doesn’t let child’s clothes get too short or tight
• Does it all. Period.

My life is a little different. Deep down, I know I am a good mom, but I think it’s ingrained in women to doubt themselves and compare themselves to other mothers (please tell me I am not wrong). I see the more put together moms nod politely to me, but it’s the tattooed moms that like me (and I don’t even have a tat).

I am late despite being very anal about being on time. The idea of being alone with someone else’s children frightens me.  Every Friday Max doesn’t have to take a bath. Or brush his teeth. Or get out of his school clothes to sleep. I drink a lot of wine. I realize how crappy I look when I drop him off for school on the days that I dress up (usually a business meeting) and the teacher says, “Wow! You look great.” (as opposed to usual). I get frustrated with Max. Often.

Okay. It’s all out there. I feel better. I realize I’ve created a stereotype that doesn’t exist (pleaseohpleasetellmeitdoesntexist) and I need to stop competing with what I think a good mom is. After all, Max tells me all the time that I am a good Mama. So there.

Now it’s your turn. Spill your mother secrets like I did. Fair’s fair!

We all know my 4-year-old son Max is shy. Like “I won’t play on the playground because there’s other kids” shy. So I have to share this sweet little story.

When we were at the shuttle launch with my friend Rachel, there was a little boy the same age as Max. He was very chatty and started talking to Max across the way. Max did his usual shy-hide thing but I pushed him over to the boy. And I pushed him again. And again. Eventually he sauntered over to him. Five minutes later this was them:

Best of friends. So, Max, I told you so. I told you you could make friends all by yourself.

I’m excited about the new sitcom, In the Motherhood, debuting tonight. It’s supposed to be an accurate portrayal of what we as moms go through. We shall see.

The site is pretty cool because it includes real tips and stories from real moms (as opposed to fake ones).

There was a little flack because the show originallyl said they’d use suggestions and stories from contributors (read: you and me) but because of the legal liability they can’t do that. Whatever. We all have some of the same my-son-peed-on-himself-right-in-front-of-the-toilet-at-Dino-World stories, right?

I’ll come back with a review after the show. I do have pretty high standards for them to meet. Motherhood isn’t always a chuckle. Well, sometimes it is.