Dear Husband–

Circumstances have forced you to work in Hell these past five months. It’s been tough on me. I’ve become somewhat of a single mom, and it’s taken a strain on me.

I find it difficult to tell you this…but I’ve met someone. He’s been there for me through these trying times, and I’ve found comfort in knowing he’s there.

He’s sensitive, funny, and an artist. He tells me how much he loves me every day and isn’t afraid of public affection. He’s beautiful and has stylish taste in clothes.

He isn’t old enough to drink or even ride a bike without training wheels. When he tells me how much he loves me, he shows me with his arms stretched wide. He loves spagetti, naps and Power Rangers. I love him for many reasons, but one is that you are everything that he will become.

He is our son.

I’m doing my best to raise him while you’re gone. It’s trying at times. We’re so much alike, we butt heads a lot. But when he tells me I’m the best mama in the world, it’s all worth it.

Hurry home, papa.

Have you seen Failure to Launch? The part that sticks out in my mind, and is relevant to this post, is the roommate who’s going crazy because of a damn mockingbird outside her window.

This part will be played by Susan.

‘Tis spring in Central Florida, and one of the few times you can leave your windows open without suffocating. Ah the fresh breeze. Until about 5:30 a.m. when this charming little mockingbird begins his trilling seranade from the safe distance of the light pole. Damn.

I stumble out of bed and close the window. Every night. I’ve tried casting evil spells over the bird (though his daytime whereabouts are unknown) but there he is. Every frikkin night. Just early enough to render going back to sleep impossible. And just in time to be re-woken up by the garbage truck. Or the street sweepers, who apparently think pre-dawn is the best time to go up and down and up and down my street.

Anyone got a b.b. gun??

Update: This morning at 5:58 am sharp (I am quite sure my clock was slow and the mockingbird was punctual) the trill shrieking melody began again. I am so tired. Make it stop.

A few weeks ago I posted that my BFF Rachel from Wisconsin was coming to visit. We had an awesome week. Let me see if I can remember what we did.

1. Went to Margaritaville at Citywalk. I hate tequila, and this place exudes tequila, but still, Rachel loves it so we went. And can I just say that just like the first time I went here, they put tequila in my drink? My rum-only drink? What gives? Anyway the food was great and a very tall stilted man gave Max a balloon sword.

2. Ate at Columbia Restaurant in Ybor. Columbia is one of my most favorite, magical places to eat. It’s just the ambience and the food (you’ll notice a recurring theme in this post where I talk about food and wine). Yum. Ybor was kinda run down, so not worth mentioning.

3. Hung out with my friend Toni. Rachel actually thought this was the best part of the trip, so that’s cool. We did our usual wine + kids running around play date.

4. Drank wine at Eola Wine Company. Another favorite place in Orlando. Just a good evening sitting and chatting. Oh yes, and the homeless freestyle rapper. I wish I’d gotten his picture. Give him your name and he will rap about you. Rachel danced for him and got: “Your dancing has much power. When I get home I’ll have to take 2 cold showers.”

5. Winter Park Farmers Market. Good times. Beautiful veggies. Ate a pain au chocolat and spilled coffee down Rachel’s back. Max was disappointed there weren’t crap snacks like cotton candy like at Eola’s Farmers Market.

6. Went to IKEA. Rachel’s maiden voyage to the furniture superstore. She was in awe.

7. Watched the Discover Launch. That was the chance of a lifetime, at least for her.

8. Stayed at Treasure Island. Enjoyed the beach. Looked in gift shops at John’s Pass. Ate good seafood. Drank wine in the hotel.

9. Visited DinoWorld. This kitschy place on the way to Tampa had intrigued me for years. It’s actually pretty cool. Max had an accident there, which he hasn’t had in 2 years. Lucky for me I had extra clothes!

10. Ate strawberry shortcake in Plant City. For you non-Floridians, Plant City, FL is the capital of strawberry growing in Florida. They have a little fruit stand called Parkesdale that has the best produce and strawberry shortcake anywhere. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, the whipped cream was green. Yum.

And that was all. It was great to spend time with someone I’ve known for nearly 20 years (a fact that freaks us out a little). Thanks for coming, Rae.