So Max’s favorite song is “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings. He loves singing it with me.

We were singing it at breakfast and I told him we’d play it when we got in the car. I’m still trying to teach him the difference between a radio song I can’t play on command and a cd I can. He said, “I hope you can find it.”

I replied, “I know where it is.”

Max: “You should go to that .com to find it.”

Me: “Huh? What .com?”

Max: “ThatsNotMyName.com.”

Whaaaa? That kid cracks me up. He doesn’t even really know what a .com is and here he is making up clever ones.

As Husband and I work toward hopefully getting back together, we are taking our marriage apart and assessing all that is wrong with it. Consider it taking the car in for a complete overhaul and hoping that when we’re done we don’t have any extra parts.

So one thing I’ve decided I need to work on is being right. I’m a chronic sufferer of HavingToBeRightItis. I don’t know why that is. But I have to win every argument. Not even arguments, really.

I’m the worst with my mom. If she were to say “this is a hole,” I would argue with her and try to convince her (unsuccessfully) that it was in fact a mountain. And with the Husband, I have to have my way. I’m beginning to see it’s a problem.

I’m not really sure how to get help. Are there books on this matter? Does it have a name? The compulsive need to be the winner in any conversation?

Does anyone suffer from this affliction? Can  you provide relief? Advice??

I don’t write much about the misery I’ve been suffering ever since I found out my husband was a sex addict and have been dealing with being a single mom. I can’t. Just like I can’t dwell on it every minute of my life, or else…I’ll be in a very dark place. So I write about the happy times, about the memories I’m making with my son.

But I wanted to tell you how this blog has saved me a few times over. First of all, one of the women he was with was Googling him and found my blog, thus finding out he was married. Just as I guess I would do in the same situation, she reached out to me to tell me what had been going on. Not unkindly, just as a heads up. If she hadn’t, I would still be living in the fake plastic bubble I’ve been in for years.

Second, I’ve had such strong support from all of you through my blog. I can’t thank you enough for that. To be in a town I don’t really want to be in, feeling like my life is on hold and I have no one to talk to is tough. But virtual friends do an amazing job of being supportive. I cherish every comment you guys make, and I feel like you’re with me, holding my hand. Some of you I know, others I have yet to meet. But thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And the latest way the blog has saved me is that it helped another woman who survived her husband being a sex addict find me. She has left really supportive comments and we’ve emailed a few times. I feel I have an ally who I can look to as a success story. And she’s made me realize there are lots of great blogs like hers and resources for codependents (that’s what they call the partners of sex addicts).

I’m not alone. I have this blog, and all the wonderful things it brings me.