My yoga instructor talked about guilt the other day. Interestingly, she attributed it to the Western world. I don’t know if they don’t have guilt in other countries, but she was right; we put ourselves through a lot of guilt for no reason.

I thought it would be fun to share our Guilt Lists and then (virtually) tear them up. Here’s mine.

• Guilt about not writing enough on all my blogs
• Guilt about not going to yoga as often as I like
• Guilt about gaining a few pounds
• Guilt about being impatient with Max
• Guilt about drinking too much
• Guilt about not being the kind of parent who volunteers at school
• Guilt about not dusting
• Guilt about not scrubbing the tub
• Guilt about not taking Max to play outside often enough

Looking at this list I see that none of it is earth-shattering. I think we as women experience more guilt than men. What do you think? And for what? It’s just another stressor in our lives.

So here and now I’m making a proclamation that we will deliberately work harder to NOT feel so guilty. The dishes can wait. We won’t blow up if we don’t exercise all week (or month). That hamburger will not go straight to our thighs.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Let’s start doing that.

It’s been a whirlwind around here the last few weeks, what with my mom visiting, then my trip to Dell in Austin. Mom had been bemoaning how much she missed San Diego after she helped me move here in March (I made her go home early as we needed to settle in. It wasn’t the time to be tourists!).

So this time, we were able to do all the fun stuff in town. In fact, I don’t know what we didn’t do! We visited Old Town, which is a great historic area for shopping. We took a harbor tour (I got bored after the first hour). We visited the Farmer’s Market in Little Italy (see photos below). While I was in Round Rock, Mom took a trolley around town and shopped at Seaport Village.

A good time was had by all. Max was sad when she left (didn’t help that Papa had to leave the day before for work travel), and the house is quiet now. The coffee doesn’t mysteriously get made on its own, nor do the towels get folded (not the way we fold, but hey, it beats leaving them in the dryer for 3 days).

Mom, thank you for coming and putting up with your temperamental virtually teenage daughter. I love you.

So I had a conversation with my best friend, who happens to be from Serbia. She moved her when she was 13, but still sees differences in Americans vs. Europeans.

We were talking about the people we’ve met who will say “We’ll have to get together, ” and then make no effort to do so. Who always say things are perfect even when they’re not.

She says it’s an American thing. I say it’s a woman thing. But I’m not like that, and neither is she. We’re both very direct, and quick to say that things suck (parenting, perhaps) and quick to invite you to our homes. On a specific day. Not in general.

So what gives? She says American women are afraid of showing that underneath the facade of a clean house, things aren’t as perfect as they appear. I say women are afraid of getting close to others for fear of rejection.

Is it an American thing? A female thing? What do you say?