Mine is, but not according to this article from Working Mother. So I’m reading about ways to set the mood for romance and I have to tell you: these are chick activities. I don’t want to make a round generic statement, but I don’t think many men honestly would enjoy many of these.

The Movies

The Hub hates going to the movies. Only rarely do I get him there. He’d rather curl up on the couch horizontally and enjoy a movie together. It just has to be less than 90 minutes long.

A Concert

No. Just, no.

A Picnic

Only if it’s part of camping or hiking. There’s no “Sound of Music” moment here.

Karaoke

How is bad singing romantic for either of us??

Spa Visit

Eh. He likes massages, but even I don’t want to talk when I’m getting mine.

Theater

See concert.

Candlelit Dinner

He does like a good meal. Might convince him of this one.

Salsa Dancing

The hub’s a good dancer, but I suck. Plus there’s 1 foot difference in our height, so this makes it awkward.

Lingerie Shopping

This is more up his alley.

What’s Romantic for us:

• Watching UFC fights and drinking wine
• Cooking together
• Laying down and just being quiet (difficult for me)
• Getting a sitter and going.anywhere!

I haven’t written about my relationship in a while. After “the incident” I wanted to shout from the rooftops about my pain. Now that things are getting better, the urge to share has lessened. But I want you to know I’m ok.

Husband and I are working at rebuilding. There were things we both needed to work on, like improved communication and giving the other what he/she wants. He tells me daily he loves me. That’s new. And I get flowers a lot more. That always puts a smile on my face. I’m working to be in tune to what he needs, like my support as he builds a new endeavor.

We’re getting there. But the romance that was there 10 years ago? It’s definitely there. And after it faded away so many years ago (I’m sure many of you can relate) it’s a welcome surprise to find us both getting fluttery stomachs when we see each other again.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me through the last few months. I’m going to make it through!

My mom gave me this poem and I find it so appropriate for this time in my life.

After A While
©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn…