The Hub traveled for a long time, so he missed many of Max’s events. Even though Max never vocalized disappointment, I know he felt it. Now when Papa shows up, I can see him beaming with pride.

It got me thinking about how the littlest things affect our kids. Like when we moved several times in a year. Max was a mess. He reverted, and it was hard to help him feel stable once we moved here. Throwing him in a French immersion program didn’t help with that. Now he’s well-adjusted and doing fine.

We have to think about how our actions as adults affect our kids. The ripple effect can sometimes go months or years beyond its source.

Photo credit: kgreggain

Knowing what I will and won’t do in terms of diet and exercise is directly related to my chances of success.

What I mean is this: we’ve all tried diets and failed at them. Some work for us, while others don’t. We’ve all tried different types of exercise, only to abandon them after a few weeks.

Diet and exercise are not a one-size-fits-all scenario.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize about myself.

1. Food is important to me. I’d rather step up my exercise than give up carbs long term.

2. I don’t like to sweat. But I’m getting over it.

3. I hate running.

4. I don’t like ball sports.

5. I love yoga. Too bad it doesn’t help me lose weight.

6. The no sugar no carbs thing doesn’t work for me. Mentally, anyway.

7. I’d rather work out at home than go to the gym.

8. I like the game component of exercising with my Wii.

9. I have to be willing to not let my diet rule my life completely and forgive myself when I get off track. (Like I did with that pizza last night).

10. I have to find a diet and exercise plan that I can maintain long term.

To that effect, I’m one week in to the Carb Lovers diet. I’m also stepping up my exercise and taking African Mango Extract supplements. I lost 3 pounds this week (but I’m still higher than I was pre-holidays )

I’ll let the photos tell the story.

A few months ago, I found a lump in my breast. I waited a few weeks to see if it went away. It didn’t, so I went to my gyno, who sent me to get an ultrasound.

The doctor who read the ultrasound said he was “pretty sure” it was a fibroadenoma (nothing to worry about), but if I wanted to be sure, I could have a biopsy.

All my friends and family said I should go ahead with the biopsy. But it wasn’t urgent, so at first I wasn’t that worried.

Then I talked to my GP, who freaked me out about the biopsy, and told me I could have a mammogram as a sort of “second opinion.” I did that. Still they suggested biopsy.

Ok, at this point, I’m getting a little worried. But I go on vacation for 3 weeks, and have my biopsy scheduled for when I get back.

Every day, it eats at me a little. What if.but no, I refuse to think that far. I tend to overdo it.

I come back (only a few breakdowns under my belt) and have the biopsy. They tell me it’ll be 2-7 days before I get the results back. I can’t imagine a week of being on edge.

Two days later (today) I hear back. I’m fine. Sigh of relief.

What I Took Away

I’m only 34, so I’ve got a few years before I have to start having mammograms. But I’m not afraid of them now after the two I’ve had. They’re really not that bad.

The biopsy wasn’t bad either. I watched the needle going in and couldn’t feel it. The worst part is I have to wait 72 hours before taking a bath and I so desperately want one. (Yes, I can shower).

Last week I “made an offering to the breast cancer gods,” and donated to Susan G. Komen. I think I’ll keep doing that.

I was prepared in the event that I got bad news. I know I’m strong enough to handle it. And one day, I might get that (or other) bad health news. I will survive, as so many have already.

I am happy to be alive and healthy. Take nothing for granted. And do your self-checks!!

Before long, a girl about 9 joined me and began to swing. We engaged in small talk. Soon we were pumping our legs in sync, seeing who could swing higher. I felt her age.

“Lean backwards like this!” she demonstrated falling back and looking behind her on the swing.

Before I could let my usual adult excuses kick in, I leaned back. I felt exhilaration, fear, and the familiar.

“It makes me a little uncomfortable to do that, but at the same time, I like it,” she explained in uncanny adult language.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

After that lesson, she also urged me to close my eyes while swinging. I got that same mix of fear and freedom.

Why as adults do we lose the ability to let go like this? Why did it take a stranger — a child to get me to free myself, if only for 5 minutes?

photo credit: tazmany

For my husband, it’s great. Max is more physical now, which means they wrestle and fight a lot while I look on over the book I’m reading. I don’t resent them spending more time together; I’m glad of it. I just feel a little…well, empty.

And in place of snuggling up with me, he’s arguing with me. The Hub and I recognize that it’s a power struggle, but it’s one I’m not interested in engaging. Today I took away his iPhone in an effort to show him that arguing relentlessly has consequences. He seemed to get it.

I feel like we’re already embarking on teendom, and I’m not ready. After all, he’s only 7!

I was glad I wasn’t at a bar. I was glad I wouldn’t have to fight the crowds to come home. I was glad I was already in my pjs. I was glad to be ringing in the new year with the boys I love best.

Happy New Year, family style, y’all.

This year Santa was especially good to us. And now we are in San Francisco, which makes the holiday feel even longer. But I will be sad when we head home and I have to pack away the ornaments on our dead Christmas tree.

There’s nothing like watching the magic of Christmas through the eyes of your child. Only too soon he’ll be a teen we have to wake up at noon to begrudgingly come down to open his presents. I can wait. Really I can.

photo by stock.xchng user Ewucha. Royalty free.

We fill the box with holiday treats and cultural tidbits from our respective countries. She sends almond-flavored candy; I send marshmallows (which she loves, by the way; apparently they don’t make them in Spain).

Every year, we both thrill to see what’s in store. I won’t give away what I sent her this year, as she likely is reading this post (Hi!). I love shopping, trying to see the Christmas-packed stores from the perspective of someone from another country. Is reindeer-poop candy funny if you’re not American?

Through this tradition, we’ve learned about one another’s cultures. Last year, we were lucky enough to go to Spain and hang out with our dear friend. In Spain, Christmas isn’t as big a deal as El Dia de los Tres Reyes. I still think back to the amazing parade we attended as well as the arrival of the three wise men by boat.

Having a pen pal as an adult is rare. Fortunately, email and Facebook make it easier.  I love that Max sees our tradition and looks forward to her box with me!

I’m excited that we’ll be at home for Christmas (last year we were in Paris), so that we can enjoy the decorations and treats here. The tree is up and everything’s decorated.

Today I did the bulk of the holiday shopping for friends and family. Thought I got some pretty good deals.’til I realized I forgot Max’s toys! Big Fail.

I hope to wrap up my holiday cards this weekend. I’ll feel pretty much done if I can order what I forgot and wrap everything this weekend!

Photo: Flickr user paparutzi. Creative Commons 2.0.