Here’s The Skinny on My Life
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RSS FeedOkay, so you know something’s up. I haven’t been ready to talk about it, but here goes.
I left my husband. He was unfaithful. Very unfaithful.
I packed up my heart, my kid, and my clothes and drove for eight hours to Arkansas, where I crawled into my mom’s bed and cried like nobody’s business.
So here I am, trying to figure out what direction to go in.
Turns out he has an addiction. A sex addiction. It’s so very hard for me to write this, because I’m struggling not to be ashamed. But from what I’ve been reading, I know there is no shame in it, and writing should be therapeutic.
He’s in a 12 step program. Yes, like Alcoholics Anonymous. They consider his problem something that is treatable. Many people have fought their sex addictions and gone on with their partners to have healthy relationships.
That’s what I’m hoping for.
Despite the rug being pulled out from under me, I’m trying to do what’s best for me, for us, and for Max. It’s hard to know what that is right now, but I have agreed to go to counseling with him (not just right now; I need time to heal) and see if we can repair what is broken.
I don’t know if it can.
But he has said he wants to fight for his marriage and his family, and I am willing to let him try.
In the meantime, I’ve decided to roost in the town where I grew up. The very one I clawed my way out of, swearing I’d never be back. And ya know what? It’s okay. I’ve been places, done things, so taking a year off in a sleepy town that doesn’t know what Twitter is will be okay. It will have to be.
I’ve found a fabulous (public) school for Max to start Kindergarten. He needs some stability right now, so I have to put him first.
I’ve reconnected with old friends and told them how much I need them right now. Well, maybe I haven’t told them, but I do.
So now you know.
9 Comments
1.
Cynthia TenEyck commented on June 25, 2009 at 4:32 pm
What an incredibly brave woman you are! You had the courage to remove yourself from the situation, take your son to a place you didn’t necessarily want to go but knew would be good for him, share your life-altering news with your supporters, and even set your sights on a potential reconciliation! You are positively intrepid and inspirational! Know that you are loved, and that lots of people out here want the very best possible outcome for you and your family. Hang in there- better days will come!
2.
Melanie (Modern Mami) commented on July 01, 2009 at 7:16 am
Susan, just wow. I can’t imagine. And kudos to you for agreeing to the counseling. I hope all heal and something works out; whatever is best, of course.
3.
admin commented on July 01, 2009 at 10:13 am
Thanks guys. You can’t imagine how hard it was to let this out but I’m so glad I did. It means so much to me to have people I know (you 2) and people I’ve never met emailing me with love and support.
4.
Happiness is Relative. Be Happy in the Moment. | Sometimes Parenting Sucks commented on July 04, 2009 at 1:01 pm
[...] then I remember why we’re here. Then it feels weird to be happy. Because, of course, I’m not. I want my life and my family [...]
5.
Mary (MPJ) commented on July 09, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I found your blog through a Google search. My husband is also a sex addict. I found out six years ago, when I was seven months pregnant with our second child. Finding out about my husband’s sex addiction hurt like nothing else I know. He attends SAA 12 Step meetings and I go to COSA meetings. I couldn’t have imagined it six years ago, but we’re both so much better now.
I know I don’t know you at all, but sometimes I feel like we are all sisters in this, and I want you to know my thoughts are with you. Hang in there.
6.
My Blog Saved My Life. | Sometimes Parenting Sucks commented on July 24, 2009 at 10:40 pm
[...] don’t write much about the misery I’ve been suffering ever since I found out my husband was a sex addict and have been dealing with being a single mom. I can’t. Just like I can’t dwell on it [...]
7.
Mothers Love Their Children Forever | Sometimes Parenting Sucks commented on August 10, 2009 at 9:32 am
[...] been talking with my mom a lot lately, about my crumbling marriage and about life. She’s been stressed because of my problems, and I finally “got” [...]
8.
Fiona commented on January 22, 2010 at 8:35 am
Yes same here. SA partner. Home to roost. In my case he’s not the father of my child, and he is a sick sick sorry man and I can never let him back into my life.
9.
admin commented on January 22, 2010 at 11:18 am
Hi Fiona. I’m so glad you found my blog. It’s always good to connect with someone with a similar (albeit different outcome) situation to mine.
Susan